Navigating Grief During the Holidays — A Heartfelt Message for Moms
Introduction
The holidays are often painted as a season of joy—twinkling lights, warm gatherings, family traditions, and magical memories. But for many moms, this time of year also brings a different, quieter companion: grief.
Whether you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, grieving a relationship that has changed, or holding space for dreams that didn’t unfold the way you hoped, the holidays can feel like an emotional tug-of-war. You’re trying to create happiness for your family while carrying a weight that others may not see.
If this is you, please know: you are not alone, and your grief is not something you need to “fix” before the holidays begin. At Mountain Brow Counselling, our therapists can support you during the holidays, because we understand the challenges this time may carry. Here are some gentle reminders and compassionate strategies to support you this season.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything
As moms, we often feel pressure to stay strong, keep traditions alive, and make the holidays special for everyone else. But grief doesn’t disappear because the calendar flips to December.
You are allowed to feel sad, overwhelmed, numb, angry, or even unexpectedly joyful. All of these emotions can coexist. Grief doesn’t follow holiday schedules or cultural expectations, and it shouldn’t have to.
Simplify Your Expectations
Maybe you don’t have the energy for elaborate decorating this year. Maybe the holiday card doesn’t get sent, or you skip a gathering that feels too heavy to attend.
This is not failure. This is honouring where you are.
Give yourself permission to scale back. Let go of the “shoulds.” Your worth as a mom is not measured by perfect traditions, it's measured by your presence, your love, and the ways you show up in the best way you can.
Create Space for the Person or Dream You’re Missing
If you’re grieving a loved one, consider creating a gentle ritual to honour them:
Light a candle at dinner
Hang an ornament in their memory
Tell a story about them during a family moment
Make one of their favourite holiday dishes
If your grief is tied to something less tangible—a difficult transition, a loss of identity, a strained relationship—you can honour that too. Journaling, quiet reflection, or sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help you hold that space compassionately.
Let Others Support You
You don’t have to carry everything alone.
If someone asks how they can help, consider saying yes. Yes to watching the kids for an hour, yes to bringing a dish, yes to a quiet walk or a listening ear. Grief softens when we share it, even a little.
And if support isn’t offered, it’s okay to ask for what you need. Asking isn’t a burden; it’s an act of courage and care.
Find Small Moments of Comfort
Grief often makes joy feel complicated, but comfort can still exist in tiny, gentle moments:
A warm cup of tea
A soft blanket
A peaceful drive to look at the lights
A movie that always soothes you
A moment of stillness when the house is finally quiet
These small acts aren’t solutions; they’re lifelines. Let them be enough.
Talk to Someone When the Weight Feels Too Heavy
Sometimes the holiday season brings grief to the surface in ways that feel overwhelming. If your emotions feel too big to manage alone, reaching out to a therapist can give you a safe, supportive space to breathe, process, and heal.
Therapy isn’t about “getting over” your grief; it’s about learning how to live with it in a way that honours your story and strengthens your ability to keep moving forward.
A Final Reminder, Mom to Mom
If grief is sitting at your holiday table this year, you are not doing anything wrong.
You are still a good mother.
You are still allowed joy.
You are still allowed sorrow.
You are still whole, even in the places that feel broken.
Take this season moment by moment. Be gentle with your heart. And remember that healing doesn’t have a deadline.
If you need support navigating grief this holiday season, our therapists are here for you. Reach out and book a free consultation. We’d be honoured to walk alongside you.
