Back-to-School Anxiety: When Parents Feel It Too
Introduction
Every September, kids all over head back to school with new backpacks, sharpened pencils, and a mix of excitement and nerves. But what often goes unspoken is that the anxiety of this transition isn’t only felt by children; sometimes it’s carried by parents, too.
Whether it’s kindergarten drop-off, starting middle school, or entering a brand-new high school, many parents quietly wrestle with their own version of back-to-school jitters.
At Mountain Brow Counselling, we’re all parents ourselves, we understand the ups and downs of parenting, and since we specialize in supporting parents, we see these back-to-school anxieties all the time—and we’re here to help.
Why Parents Feel Back-to-School Anxiety
Parents naturally want their children to succeed, feel safe, and be happy. When a new school year begins, uncertainty can stir up big emotions:
Will my child make friends?
Will their teacher understand their needs?
Will they keep up with the workload?
What if they get left out, teased, or overwhelmed?
Sometimes, the anxiety isn’t just about the child - it’s about the parent’s own memories of school. A tough time in gym class, academic struggles, or social rejection from decades ago can resurface when watching their child walk through those same doors.
The Invisible Weight Parents Carry
For many parents, the hardest part of back-to-school is the lack of control. You can’t sit beside your child in class, shield them from playground politics, or whisper reassurance before every math test. The very act of stepping back and letting them navigate challenges can feel like a leap into the unknown.
This anxiety can show up in subtle ways—double-checking lunch boxes, peppering kids with questions after school, or lying awake at night running through “what if” scenarios.
What Helps Ease the Worry
While it’s impossible to eliminate all parental anxiety (because love and worry often travel together), there are ways to ease the load:
Name it: Simply acknowledging, “I feel anxious about school starting too,” helps normalize the feeling.
Separate your experience from theirs: Notice when old school memories are coloring your worries. Remind yourself: This is their story, not mine.
Trust the process: Kids are often more resilient than we expect. Allow space for them to stumble, problem-solve, and grow.
Create connection rituals: A note in their lunch, a consistent drop-off goodbye, or a few minutes to reconnect after school can reassure both of you.
Take care of yourself: Managing your own stress, whether through walking, journaling, or talking with other parents creates a calmer environment for your child.
Remember, It’s a Shared Transition
Back-to-school isn’t just a milestone for kids - it’s one for parents, too. As routines shift, roles stretch, and emotions rise, it’s normal to feel unsettled. By recognizing and tending to your own anxiety, you not only support yourself, you model for your child that feelings are something to be noticed, understood, and cared for.
If you are in Ontario and looking for support around this topic, you can book a free consultation with one of our therapists today, and you can get the support you need.
